the best way to a girls heart is punching through the ribcage
apparently this is illegal but dont let it stop you
(via thebootydiaries)
*straight man voice* you want me to EAT my ice cream with a PINK spoon???? you might as well shove TEN COCKS right up my ASS
Why is this actually straight men
(Source: bassiter, via topnotchboy)
(Source: twitter.com, via thebootydiaries)
Someone: why do u always say u feel sick
Me: because, my sweet dude, I literally cannot determine the line between my mental illness and physical unwellness anymore. I am Literally Always Ready To Die I am in a constant state of uncomfort my guy it always makes me feel like I'm gonna be ridin the queasy train to regretville
Me: haha
new movie ranking system: how cute was the CGI wolf?
if it doesn’t have CGI wolves, that doesn’t mean it’s subject to other rating systems, that just means it fails
THOR: RAGNAROK - 5/5, perfect score
NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE - 4.5/5, voiced by a dude who sounds really hot which gets a separate bonus, boosting the ranking by .5
TWILIGHT: THE LAST ONE - 5/5, their hands were giant
THE JUNGLE BOOK - 5/5. lots of personality. look pretty cartoony and not believable, but i like it.
INCEPTION. no wolves. 0/5. a disgrace of a movie.
(via comedystation)
when u and ur friends go out to the woods in the night to scream
when u find out ur friends went in the woods to scream without u
(via thebootydiaries)
(via wildoo)
my laddo
the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression
This is so fucking real it hurts
(via typical-boyband)
(Source: ruinedchildhood, via ruinedchildhood)
new job, new house, girlfriend and dog. can’t ask for more after probably the worst year of my short life
